Scarce Corporabullshit Technologist (SCT)

A reality of Corporate Anywherica is that not all jobs are salaried to their value for society at large. Neurosurgeons may be approximately as important as most people imagine, and command about the salary most people imagine, but a lot of highly successful job roles exist as important cogs in a company’s machine that are otherwise gigantic questionmarks to the rest of society. A lot of my friends have jobs like these. They are difficult to categorize, usually command a six-figure salary, and yet all seem to have existed by the same mechanism: they have a difficult-to-replicate intersection of qualifications that are arrived at somewhat by happenstance, and their actual work is far less profound than the job title suggests.

So I’ve coined the slang Scarce Corporabullshit Technologist (SCT) to describe a job role that

  1. exists on a very small intersection of venn diagrams¹, hence “Scarce” (as in scarcity, i.e. few are available)
  2. involves some rare intersection of corporate and tech skills such that very few people meet the criteria, hence “Technologist” (e.g., five years IT + two years sales manager or something)
  3. is not nearly as intense² or valuable³ as the job title’s impressiveness seems to indicate, hence “Corporabullshit”
With this term you can describe whole job categories as SCTs, when they otherwise resist categorization by their nature and would be shoehorned into “tech” or “data analysis” or “sales management” or whatever else. Footnotes below.

One thought on “Scarce Corporabullshit Technologist (SCT)

  1. footnotes:

    ¹ a venn diagram refers to a graphic of at least two overlapping circles to represent intersections of groups. so for example, “white” and “likes rock music” will overlap a lot, while “NASCAR fan” and “drag queen fan” will not overlap very much. here is a funny example — also, most “venn diagrams” are not true Venn Diagrams and are actually Euler diagrams, because real venn diagrams have more restrictions. (real venn diagrams must contain all logically possible combinations.)

    ² intensity mismatches happen all the time in jobs. police jobs are about as intense as most people think they are. meanwhile, chef jobs are *more* intense than most people think, and FBI Analysts are far less intense. MicroVenn Corporabullshit Technologist jobs are on the “far less intense” end.

    ³ job is valuable to corporations only because so few people can fill that role, but not that valuable in a larger sense. one everyday example of this is plastic surgeons who specialize in unique penis implants. not exactly that valuable in the future-of-humanity sense, but because so few people can do the surgery the cost is super-expensive.

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